Funerals and Jewish traditions

The Jewish tradition considers the seeing off of the deceased as one of the most important commandments, the fruits of the fulfillment of which one tastes both in this world and in the world to come. The rites from death to the closing of the coffin for men are performed by men, for women by women.
After ascertaining that death has occurred, they proceed to pronounce the blessing. Those present standing tear their lower or upper garments along the edge.
If the tearing of the garment was not done at home, it is done in the funeral parlor. Those obliged to tear the garments include seven relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, wife, sister and brother. When any of these relatives dies, the tearing of the garment is done by 10 cm. When burying parents, the left side is torn from the heart, other relatives are torn on the right side, and not the lower, but the upper shirt. The woman should cover the site of the tear. The procedure is performed standing, leaning over the open casket. When parents are buried, they are torn by hand, while in the case of other relatives, various tools can also be used. If one wishes to apologize, it is only done after the procedure of tearing the garment. It is customary to wear clothes torn on the death of a parent for the entire following week. If there is a need to change clothes during this time.

After that, the deceased should close his eyes. Next, they remove from the deceased possibly available jewelry (rings, bracelets, etc.), bring him to a horizontal position, undress him up to his shirt, on the right side of the body slip a linen sheet rolled up in a tube to the middle of the width, pulling from the left side so that he was laid on the sheet, and wrapped further, until they completely wrap him from the headboard to the feet. After that, open a window and place a candle at the headboard. No sooner than 20 minutes after death, the body is lifted from the bed.

After preliminary preparation of the floor – laying a mattress, straw, etc. – The deceased is gently lowered, and it is desirable to choose a place near a well-ventilated but not sunny window. The head of the deceased is given a slightly elevated position, legs are stretched out and hands with straightened fingers are placed. While the deceased is in the room, all mirrors should be closed or turned away. The deceased must not be left alone in the room – a guard, or in the case of a woman, a female guard, must be with the deceased.

For purification of the body one needs: warm water for ablution, sufficient cold water, vessels, handkerchiefs, linen cloths, handkerchiefs, absorbent cotton, etc.
A garment for the deceased – should be made of white cotton (not woolen) material stitched with linen threads. The hat, which resembles a tall yarmulke, should be double-layered so that it can be used to cover the face of the deceased. There should be no jewelry on the garment, nothing metallic – gold, silver, monograms, badges, and buttons and buttons – should not be given to the dead person to take with them. However, special funeral decorations may not be removed. The deceased is laid on the purification table, then covered with a sheet, removing the used one, and the appropriate prayer is recited. After that, the ablution begins: in order of seniority, those present pour lukewarm water over the body from the head downwards. Buckets should not be passed from hand to hand at this time and should be put back in place after use. The body is then cleansed with the help of handkerchiefs. After cleansing the upper part of the body, turn it to the left side and clean the right side and half of the back, the same is repeated with the left side. After that, the main part of the purification begins, having previously poured out all the water from the ablution. Fill two buckets with clean water and place them to the left and right of the headboard. Next, a clean sheet is taken and lifted over the deceased unrolled by the four ends, looking to the side, at this time removing the damp sheet covering the deceased. Two respectively on the left and right, take the filled cauldrons and take turns (first standing on the right and then on the left) emptying them from the head through the whole body, with the second taking up the dousing before the first’s cauldron is empty. After that, as soon as all the water has run off, they put an unfolded clean sheet on the body of the deceased and wipe it with all clean handkerchiefs.

If the body is in such a state that purification is impossible, it is wrapped in a sheet, placed in the coffin, and the vestments, without putting them on, are only folded in order, trying if possible to put on at least a hat and socks.

After cleansing, the vesting is done. It goes in the following order: put on hat, pants, shirt, shroud, gloves and belt. The shroud and shirt should be straightened. For women, the following sequence must be observed: first a shirt is worn, which is tied at the neck and sleeves; then a shroud, the ties on the shoulders of which are wrapped around the arms so that the thumb can pass through the slit at the end of the tie. Thus, all tying of the vestments of the deceased or the deceased is done in this form. The shawl and veil are placed in the casket beforehand.

The deceased or murdered person is buried in the clothes in which he met death.

Before being placed in the casket, the available shavings are distributed so that the head is on an elevated position. A sheet is placed in the corner of the coffin and the body is placed in the coffin and wrapped in the sheet, covering first the left side, then the right side and finally the top. Linens, clothes, handkerchiefs and other things stained with blood in any way are placed at the bottom of the empty fob and buried with the deceased. Anything that has been cut or fallen off the body is put on the bottom. and buried with the deceased. The coffin is covered with a lid, being slightly ajar at the headboard, covered with a black cloth, and placed against the exit door.

Preparing for a funeral should be checked:

the size of the grave;

the presence of a triangular slit on the left side of the lower part of the coffin;

filling a sack from an open grave with earth, which is placed under the head of the deceased;

Sprinkling the deceased with the soil of the Land of Israel;

covering the mouth and eyes with clay shards, after which a hat is placed on the head.

Women should be in the inner room of the funeral hall during the funeral and send-off, without being near the men. Next, the casket is carried on the shoulders, without unrolling, directly to the grave or hearse. At the cemetery, on prepared ropes, the coffin is lowered into the grave so that the feet lie to the East and the head to the West. The first to sprinkle the earth on the grave are the sons, as well as other relatives of the deceased, then the rabbis, and then the rest of those present. At the same time, the shovel is left directly on the ground, without passing from hand to hand. When the grave is half filled, a plaque with the name of the deceased is placed at the headboard, then the earth is poured to the top and a grave mound is built. Until its completion, one must not remove oneself from the grave.

After the funeral, when leaving the cemetery, those present line up in two rows, with the relatives of the deceased passing through the middle and accepting condolences.

If the death occurs on a Saturday or holiday, there are some changes to the procedure. No blessing or tearing of garments is performed on these days. The body is moved by placing a piece of bread on it.
Purification is not undertaken on the Sabbath and holidays; but if death occurs on or shortly before a holiday, purification, as well as burial, is performed after their exodus. If the funeral falls on the second day of the holiday, and on its eve it was impossible to make purification, the latter is also done on the second day. When cleansing on holidays, many handkerchiefs are used to absorb and dry the moisture, as wiping is forbidden on this day.

On holidays, children must tear their clothes on the occasion of the death of their parents. Garments are not worn by other relatives until after the holidays.
The hammering of the coffin on the feast is not done by Jews. The texts of the prayers recited before the burial are not read on the feast. They are also not organizing a mourning row.
It is forbidden to leave the deceased overnight, except in a number of cases, such as death on a Sabbath or holiday, failure to prepare documents and other belongings, and the inability of relatives to say goodbye to the deceased or give him the necessary honors until the end of the day.

It is forbidden to cremate the deceased.

The distance between graves in the cemetery should be 30 cm, and the height of the grave should be (60 cm).

You can’t bury a non-Jew in a Jewish cemetery. It is not customary to bury a religious Jew next to a non-religious Jew.

In a new cemetery, it is desirable to designate three parts: for the religious; for the non-religious; and for non-Jews. Suicides and cremated ashes may only be buried in the third part of the cemetery.

For the first seven days of mourning, one may not leave the house (except to go to synagogue), may not sit on ordinary chairs (one sits on the floor or on small elevations), wear leather shoes, wash with hot water, or have sexual relations.

There is a custom to have candles burning all seven days.

The first meal after the funeral is prepared by friends or neighbors. It is customary to eat something round (beans or a hard-boiled egg).

For the first three days those in mourning do not go to work.

Mourning for all deceased relatives, except parents, ends on the thirtieth day after the funeral. These days you can not wear new clothes, participate in wedding ceremonies, haircut. Mourning for parents lasts for twelve months.